


Angels on Top of Christmas Trees

by JewelQueen



Series: Fics From Turbohell for Being Homophobic (aka XPosts from my FFN) [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Dean Winchester, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Ignoring All Canon Basically, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Sam shows up for two seconds, Short & Sweet, The fact that Zachariah is tagged in this should tell you exactly how old this is, Timeline What Timeline, baby gays, thirsty Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27686933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewelQueen/pseuds/JewelQueen
Summary: Cas is trying to test the waters on a Very Important Matter--but apparently his higher-ups get impatient with his methods and Dean learns the meaning to a phrase he didn't know that he never knew.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Fics From Turbohell for Being Homophobic (aka XPosts from my FFN) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023406
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Angels on Top of Christmas Trees

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a major XPosting (see series name); originally written ~2010, completed, some edits
> 
> This one is clearly fitting the series name because we have to literally ignore everything that happened for the past 10 years (on top of the last two episodes lol) I don't even know where this fits in the timeline anymore either

"Dean."

"What, Cas?" he asked, barely tensing anymore in a response to the angel's sudden popping in and out. Probably not the best thing to be conditioned into; as a still-working Hunter, he needed those reflexes that could mean the difference between life or death depending on the situation. At least most situations, if not every one. But he didn't really think any demon, or ghost, or any other bump in the night thing--(or an angel for that matter)--would get into his baby and expect to get away with it--not if they weren't already expected or on his side, that is.

"What? Oh, nothing." Dean raised his eyebrows but shrugged it off not a moment later. Castiel was weird like that sometimes. It wasn't often nowadays, because of him practically being human (at least in the way of feelings and actions), but he still had that bit of angel-oddity in him. Well, a lot more of those angel-bits than ever since his second resurrection gave him a little power-up deal.

"Alright then, up for some pie?" He grinned at the thought of the food-run he was currently making. "Sammy's stuck doing some research so I offered to buy dinner and that means pie. Glorious, glorious pie. Lord knows I can't trust pie into his hands anymore, right Cas?" His eyes crinkled at the side as he laughed at his own inside joke, turning to share it with his angel. "Cas...Castiel?" But he had vanished again.

"Yes, Dean?" This time he jumped when the angel popped in to his right in the passenger's seat. Castiel frowned, began glaring something into submission that must have been really small since he was practically squinting, and rubbed his chin. "No, that's not right."

"What's not right?" Dean asked, starting to get just a little bit more annoyed now.

"Nothing, Dean," he said, this time actually staring into his eyes as intense as before. It took his breath away for a moment before the staring contest became too awkward that he had to look away.

"Oh, right. Nothing that concerns me, that is," he muttered weakly, really needing the cover-up for these kinds of moments that conveniently was known as food.

"No, Dean." Green eyes shot up to meet Castiel's again at his very succinct voice. "This concerns you very much."

"What the hell is it, then?"

"Nothing, right at this moment. But it will be soon, and then I shall enlighten you." He smirked a little to show his good faith but it only made Dean more apprehensive.

"It better not be another end-of-the-world-we-need-your-help mission," he said mostly to himself, glancing back at the road. "But you are definitely buying me some pie for my future troubles...dammit Cas!" He huffed at the light and mocked his ex-passenger with a few expletives.

"Now that wasn't very nice, Dean," answered him smugly once he was finished. For the time being.

"I don't give a damn," he growled automatically, growling into his mirror as he caught sight of the randomly popping and speaking angel. Except it wasn't him. "Zachariah? What the hell are you doing here!"

"Obviously not being expected nor on your side and still expecting to get away with it," he laughed, shaking his head. "Still the same cocky human, after all, Dean."

Dean licked his lips instinctively and hunched a little, wishing to God that the light would change and he could get out of this situation. "If it was that easy, do you think I would allow it to remain so in my position and power?"

"Stay the fuck outta my mind, Chuckles," he retorted, though somewhat subdued. He was like a tiger in a cage, except that he was as harmless as a kitten against an angel.

"Language, Dean. You should show me some respect, after all." He shivered at the memory of when Castiel spoke those words to him even though he didn't know why or if it even had any connection to his suddenly dry mouth. Zachariah popped into the front seat beside him and turned towards him.

"Now, I'm willing to make you a deal. Cut you a little slack and see if you have some worth in that self-hating, vulgar, pile-of-sin-called-a-body that you live in."

"Well, thanks, I'm glad I can count on you to keep my self-image up and thriving." Dean all but snarled at him. Zachariah merely smiled in response.

"Good. You've recovered that lively attitude of yours. I have always admired that about you."

"Cut the crap, Zach, and just tell me what you want from me seeing as Cas doesn't want to speak to me nowadays." Zachariah's face darkened.

"I've come to enlighten you now, Dean, of the very same thing Castiel intends to." Despite his better judgement, Dean leaned closer to hear what Zachariah had to say.

~*~*~

The door slammed shut and Sam jumped at the intrusion into his studying. "What? No pie?"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave, Sammy," Dean grumbled without actually looking anywhere but the floor. He was, with difficulty it appeared, trying not to strangle something. "It's rather important." His tone was harsh enough for Sam to raise an eyebrow but silently pack up and leave; shutting the door with a quiet click this time.

"Cas!" he yelled, as soon as he was sure Sam wasn't hanging around nearby to eavesdrop on their conversation. "Castiel, get your feathery-ass down here!" He jumped when he heard a familiar flurry of wings follow his words almost; he was expecting it to be much more difficult to get his angel down here. Especially if what Zachariah said was true.

"Hello, Dean. You called?" Dean advanced on the innocent-looking angel immediately, leaving a distance of a good inch between them in case it was true.

"Is it true?" he said simply.

Castiel frowned, though a quick flash of fear entered his bright orbs. He hadn't yet become as experienced of a liar that Dean and Sam were, evident of his FBI skills, which all pointed in Dean's favour. "Is what true?"

Dean hesitated; he had a lot of time to get used to the idea, though it wasn't as weird as he thought it would be once he had made sure that it wasn't some kind of trick, but there's something a bit more surreal when it's put into practice. Inwardly shrugging, he went ahead and smashed his lips against Castiel's instead of replying with words. He wasn't a Winchester for nothing.

If anything, he wasn't expecting his naive virgin angel to respond to him so quickly and effectively. Dean had to apply a lot of force just to pull away to catch his breath. "That's one hell of a 'yes', Castiel," he managed to quip.

Castiel, softly, smiled unapologetically. "You called to me ever since I raised you from hell. It grew into affection the more I saw you," he explained.

"But how did you know that I would, you know, feel the same?" he muttered, not quite afraid to admit the same sentiments--just a bit awkward about it. Now that he knew for sure what it was, the sexual tension between them wasn't all one-sided.

Cas quickly frowned and peered at the floor. "I didn't. I was resigned to silently stand beside you."

"So what was up with all of your weirdness earlier, then?" Dean asked.

Castiel seemed to blush. It was hard to tell with the way he was avoiding looking at Dean. "I, uh, was testing out how to, um, say your name," he mumbled, definitely embarrassed, making Dean almost laugh out loud at the subtext. Instead he grinned widely. "Zachariah must have gotten impatient with me for not acting right then."

"Wait a minute. You expect me to believe that Zachariah was in on this? This, this was all some kind of big, heavenly, angel plan to get us together?" he spluttered in the absurdity.

"Of course, no decent Angel treats humans like that," he said with a short nod to the rest of his question.

"You mean, he's been on our side the whole time?"

"Yes, Dean." Dean imagined him rolling his eyes from the tone alone. "He was meant to be your motivation."

"My motivation? Couldn't you guys find something, I don't know, less on the evil side?" He tried to keep the sarcasm to a minimum for Castiel's sake.

"Would you have been as receptive to anything else?" Castiel said, looking a little impatient now.

That stumped Dean for a minute as he fairly pondered the question. Sighing, he eventually conceded after reviewing that his entire life practically was fighting against what he considered as evil. "No, I guess not," he mumbled reluctantly, internally damning the knowing blue eyes that sparkled at him in victory.

"Now that we have covered our bases, so to speak, may I fornicate with you now?" His excited little angel was already beginning to attempt undressing him as he pulled Dean towards the bed. "I no longer hold enough patience to converse with you when I could be inside you."

"Now, wait just a damn minute, who said you're gonna top?"

Castiel cocked his head, an amused smirk spreading his usually drawn pencil-thin lips. "Haven't you seen a Christmas tree, Dean? Angels are always on top."


End file.
